Third Session:Jess

Posted on January 22, 2023 by admin

“So, how are you doing today? Louis asked Jess, opening her file.

“Good. I guess.”

“Have you started keeping your journal?”

“I have. It’s a little more time consuming than I thought it would be.”

“Either you’re recalling a lot of positive moments, or you’re writing the few moments you’ve recalled in great detail. Either way, it’s a win, win.”

“Yeah. I will admit that it does feel kind of nice to read them. I almost forgot those moments even existed.”

“That’s the purpose of the journal. Today, we’ll take a look at the three compartments–your home, work, and social environments. As I recall, you said that it was all negative.”

“My journal entries reminded me that there were a few positive moments.”

“Given that, how would you describe your overall relationship with your family?

“I would say that there are times when we’re typically happy to be together. But the longer we stay in each other’s company, the more critical we become.”

“So, that’s when you, as a whole, usually sink into your old habits?”

“Exactly. So, most of the positive entries for my family are pretty short, or incomplete.”

“It sounds like there’s potential for something more positive and engaging to develop with the right tools.”

“What kind of tools?”

“We’ll get to that. How would you describe your overall work environment?”

“It’s all pretty boring. Just me, handling phone calls, dealing with clients, and working with customer orders. Things like that.”

“Are you working within your skill set?”

“Unfortunately.” She chuckled.

“What would you prefer doing?”

“It’s not like I can quit my job, and work somewhere else?”

“Why can’t you?”

“Getting that job wasn’t easy. I may not care too much for the work, but the benefits are good. It’s a pretty easy commute. Besides that, I’m not up to looking for another job. Let alone interviewing for one.”

“Okay, so there are some positives.”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“Let’s move on. How would you describe your social environment?”

“I don’t really like myself when I’m around other people.”

“Why?”

“I feel like I’m always trying to impress them. Like I can’t be myself. I feel like I’m not funny enough, or outgoing, or interesting. It’s like, I don’t think people are interested in what I have to say.”

“Okay.” He paused for a moment, and then he continued. “In our first session, you said you didn’t seem to be what guys are looking for. Is that what you are referring to?”

“No, that was in general.”

“So, in a romantic sense, what do you think guys are looking for?”

“Someone who’s attractive, confident, outgoing, funny, bubbly. Someone who’s not afraid to be vulnerable.”

“What is your definition of attractive?”

“Women who are confident and know how to use what they have to their advantage. I’m not like that.”

“Confident, you mean?”

“Right.”

“Confidence is a display of inner strength. What are your strengths?”

“I wouldn’t exactly say I have any. I’m just me.” She shrugged her shoulders.

“How would you describe you?”

“I like to read. I like to watch TV.”

“Those are things you like to do. I’m asking, what strengths would you use to describe your personality?”

“I can’t think of any strengths. But I would say that I’m guarded. I’m not comfortable putting myself out there.”

“Judging by your journal entries, how would you describe you–the person who experienced each of those favorable moments?”

She stared at him for a moment, and then she proceeded.

“Well, I guess I would say that I care about people. I like to make them happy. I like to laugh. I like to feel needed. I like to feel useful–like I’m actually making a difference. But I guess you would say that’s something I like to do.”

“What you’re describing are the things that make you–you. Not things that you enjoy doing? Do you see the difference?”

“Yes.”

“So judging by what you’ve said, we could say that you are a kind, bubbly, considerate, helpful human being.”

“You really think that?”

“Those are your words.”

“Yeah. I guess they are.” Her cheeks rose with a smile. “So what do I do with that?”

“Last week, we talked about looking at the parts of your well-being that are working. Therefore, I’m giving you your next assignment. I want you write a journal entry that describes how your personal attributes can be useful or beneficial in each of the three compartments.”

“Okay. But how does that go with what you said last week about us rebuilding my mental headspace?”

“After you’ve decided where your attributes are beneficial, the second part of your assignment is to rate them according to their value. You will determine which attribute can be used in all three compartments. For example, if you have an attribute that works well in all three compartments, you would list that as your strongest attribute. Do you see where I’m going with this?

“Yes. I get it. So, what happens next?”

“Once you’ve completed this assignment, we’ll be ready to jump in with both feet. That’s where the real work will begin. See you next week.”